This weekend was depressing...One of my best friends commited suiside and I went to her funaral. As her best friend I helped set up everything. I made sure everyone wore black I planed the day to be a cloudy day with no sunshine or anything. Just gray and cloudy.(that was saturday). The funaral was outside and when we started it began to rain! I was so sad. Not only had my best friend died but her funaral that I helped plan was ruinned. To make things worse I cried my heart out at the furnaral. I was quiet and all but from what i saw, I wa the youngest one their and the only one truly crying. Her parents were just putting on sad faces and others seamed like they didnt care about her... Do you think its wrong to leave the furnaral early because you were crying to much?? Well i did i left in the middle of the whole thing. I had sooo many eyes staring at me as i left as if I was the one who killed her. I felt so bad. I can't drive yet so I had a friend pick me up and we sat in his car around the corrner because i felt to bad to leave. My friend was so kind to me but it was kinda weird the way he hugged me as I cried. I cried all weekend I hated seeing my friend pass away. I had everyone come and check up on me at home. All of sunday I sat in my room hugging my legs to my chest crying. I didnt eat or sleep until night came. Then I guess I cried myself to sleep because I don't remember trying to fall asleep. This weekend sucked! I hate hearing about the death of someone I love, let alone going to their funaral. I just can't stand it. Seeing how their hurt the only good thing is to hope their going to a better place. *sigh* ....I guess thats It i'll update more when I can If i don't feel so depressed....

Love you guys!!!
**Vanessa**